Medical Misunderstandings Appreciator Gifts

"You're here for piles? Piles of what?"

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

Paramedics.

"It's inoperable and perennial."

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

'You carry a rabbit's foot — well, that explains the rabbit fever.'

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Sometimes I get a little hypochondriacky.'

"It's butterflies. In your stomach. I think you're in love."

'See - the problem is with the left side of the right brain and the right side of the left brain.'

"I'm the hospital's cardiologists. The tests are conclusive. You do wear your heart on your sleeve."

'Regular doctors aren't so bad, but never turn your back on a proctologist.'

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'