Medical Mishap Chucklers Gifts

'Get a time release capsule stuck in your throat again?'

Desert Island Mishap

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'Where does it hurt?'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

'I'll take #1.'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"Did I mention the date I had last night? A complete stiff, no sense of humor ... much too cerebral."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Broken hospital sign.

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

"Congratulations, Mrs Foopster!! It's a bouncing baby boy!!"

"Oops, forgot.... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."

You are here but you should be here