Medical Mishap Chuckler Pillows

'Good news Mrs. Gibson: Novox Liposuction Inc. has agreed to settle out of court'.

Desert Island Mishap

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'Who gets the penile implant, him or me?'

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

'But I only came in to have my appendix out!'

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'Get a time release capsule stuck in your throat again?'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

'Your hospital bill is $8437.00, plus $350.00 for not wearing clean underwear when you were brought in.'

'So that's 60 minutes, room 4 with Sally, and will you be taking our standard resuscitation insurance?'

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

'It's bad enough that you dropped your end of the stretcher, but did you have to yell 'BOMBS AWAY'?'

'Sylvia? It's Allen. Listen, I accidentally left the shop with a knee ligament kit...Yeah, yeah, I know. I am an idiot. Anyway, could you send someone out pronto with the kit for rotator cuffs?'

Doctor talks to face that is halfway down man's body: 'I'm afraid the face transplant has not quite taken.'

"Malpractice? The joke's on you. I don't have a license."

Waiting In Doctor's Office

'You've got yellow fever, so we're painting the room to match your body.'

"The resilience of the human spirit can be truly inspiring."

COVID Era abbreviations

'Regulator valve blew off of the oxygen tank!!!'

'I'm afraid your body is rejecting the transplant...'

"It's bad enough we males have to sit on the eggs, but now I'm even starting to have hot flashes!"