Medical Interviewer Gifts

'You're allergic to tongue depressors!'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"