Medical Illustration Fan Pillows

Operation Tattoo

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

During our summer breaks, hungry photocopiers from across the nation migrate to the richer feeding grounds of Pulp & Paper Mill country.

"Apparently Harry is gone viral!"

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

Lazy Doctor

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"Good news! It's only cancer."

Missing Sock

"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."

'This may sting a bit.'

Hospital Gift Shop

'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'

Stick Bandit

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'

Horses and men? You call that a healthcare system?

"The doctor will be in shortly. He's meeting with his publicist."

Nose Jobs $2.