Medical Environment Gifts

Arrivals and Departures

'Mind your P's and Q's...Watch your step...And keep a civil tongue in your head.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

A midwife holding a baby

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.