Medical Discoveries Gifts

'You should have come to me sooner. I might have won a Nobel Prize for this.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Our war is against cancer."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

Intelligent people laugh too!

TAP TAP TAP TAP

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

The star hunters

Virtual Doctor

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'What's holding him up?'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

"You've received a death sentence, Mr. Covid."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'It's a chicken.'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

I guess that's one way to get the ER renovated.