Medical Advancements Gifts

Sensor technology needs to more compact

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"Nothing to worry about Mr. Dickens. This is the future of prostate examination."

'He's worried that the 20 that changes is the 20 that he knows.'

Three Parent Baby

'Don't worry. Soon there'll be drugs that'll keep you alive far beyond 99 years and a day.'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Digital Fomo!

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Time for your pills.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

Infected Macron

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'I'm having my colon checked.'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Stop being creative and discover something already."

Healthy Eating Casualties

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"He detects disease."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"If you keep perfectly still, I can do all five cavities at once."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."