Medical College Admirer Gifts

'You really love medical college, eh?' (body parts tattooed on man's torso).

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Doctors Discussion

Alexander Fleming

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"I'm afraid it's curiosity."

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'The uterus transplant was a success. I'm sure you'll find your husband much more understanding now.'

Dear Medication, how are you? I'm feeling much better thanks to you?/ Finally she began responding to treatment.

'Whew! Five surgeries in one day! Well, let's try to make this last one end on a happy note!'

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

'We didn't know what to do with all our old, outdated equipment, so we made a sculpture garden from it.'

"I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what half of this equipment does, but it looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

"Thank you for taking part in our medical trials. It's nothing to worry about we just need to borrow your brain for a couple of hours!"

Cardiology.

The uplifting nurse.

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

"Your guess is as good as mine, but yours isn't covered by insurance."

'He was a bit of a showoff.'

'It's been a long day and he hates the snappy ones.'

Richard the Pigheart

'This certainly is a quick way of removing steel splinters, doctor!'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.