Medical Ad Aficionado Gifts

"They do say results will vary."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Create some buzz!

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Eat Beef

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Roads with a view.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Honesty in retail

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Medical Examinations.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."