Media Monarch T-Shirts

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'If only every year was an election year.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Surprise!"

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Newspaper suicide.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'You've been killing files again.'

The Royal Wii

'Get me public relations!'

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

A Journalist's Weapons

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Interactive TV news.'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

'Take me to see Max Clifford'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

The Queen

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

"I'm resigning so I can spend more time with my wonderful family, here."

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"