Office Monarch T-Shirts

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Surprise!"

Lumbar support animal

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

InIn by-products.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Workload management.

"Quicksand in a modern office building? Don't be silly."