Media Manipulation Detective Pillows

May Devouring Corbyn

'How fast can you hype?'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

King Solomon's Pollster.

Freedom of the Press

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'How fast can you hype?'

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

The Truth

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will totally freak out....'

"I'll check your circulation."

"It's a setup."

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

"See...polystyrene!"

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"They're not home.."

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

'I hate technology!'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."