Media Manipulation Detective Pillows

May Devouring Corbyn

'How fast can you hype?'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

King Solomon's Pollster.

Freedom of the Press

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

Best Political System Ever

The Truth

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"I'll check your circulation."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will totally freak out....'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'We don't believe a word of this c.v... And we'd like to offer you a job.'

Man considers blogging.

"See...polystyrene!"

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

"They're not home.."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

'I hate technology!'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"