Media And Communications Gifts

'...I have been given the full suppport of the board.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Occu-Pie Mars

"Welcome to the future"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Lynching on social media

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Campaign for Plain English

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!