Medal Chasers Gifts

Skeets Champion.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Military Medals

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I was in the catering corps.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Strive to win!

Planting a Flag on the Summit

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Jungle Games

Happy Champion

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Hollywood or bust!

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

''Because It's There' got us up here...you have any ideas how we get back down?'

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'