Medal Chasers Gifts

Skeets Champion.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Military Medals

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I was in the catering corps.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Planting a Flag on the Summit

Strive to win!

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Jungle Games

Happy Champion

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Hollywood or bust!

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

''Because It's There' got us up here...you have any ideas how we get back down?'

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'