Mechanical Wit Appreciator Pillows

"Can you save my car?"

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cat Burglar

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Robocop and Juliet.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Old-fashioned computer

'It's a hybrid.'

Screw plastic surgeon.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Pick your own fruit or worms.

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Figure of Eight

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

Inn and Outt.

Bit on the Side

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'