Modern Wit Appreciator Pillows

'Dear Loser: You have been selected to receive no spam.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

G.K. Chesterton.

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

Figure of Eight

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.

King Commute.

Tom Bowler

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore