Meaty Munchers Gifts

Why can't we go vegetarian, mom? It's not so easy. You're letting the giant forces of agribusiness run your life! Mo-om! Dad and I are starving! Where's the beef? It's the smaller forces of agri-vation that give me problems.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Full English Breakfast.

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Munch Master.

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

'Any more napkins, Hon? Annie's got cone leakage.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

Meditation Munchies

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"You asked for runny!"

Al's Health Spa: You are what you eat.

'Diet!...Diet!...Diet!...'

"So … ribs for lunch?"

'I'd like the low-cal enchiladas, the low-sodium corn chips, and the diet margarita.'

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.