Meatloaf Magician T-Shirts

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Benihana style of cooking.

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Party time.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Surprise in the salad bowl

Hot pot

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Culinary surgery.

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Fridge-to-table"