Meatloaf Magician T-Shirts

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Party time.

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

Culinary surgery.

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

"Fridge-to-table"

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The legend of Chef Arthur.