Meat Marvel Gifts

Floyd, a pioneer in genetic engineering, often spent lunchtimes with Melissa on his spiral-cut ham farm.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"States of tofu"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Burnt or Raw?

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Culinary surgery.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

'New Barbeque.'

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

Macho man body building club.

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

Horse meat scandal.

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"Iron Man Competition"

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

'I recently became a veggie.'

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

Cattle barons for world domination.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Martha, I've just discovered where Uncle George has gotten to"

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

The Chop House

'That IS the chef's surprise, sir -- the pork chops are really tofu.'

Steak

Starmer - Just eat less.