Meat-free Merrymaker Pillows

"Danny told us you don't eat meat, so we made you a fisherman instead."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

'I'd like to tell you all about it, dear, but what happens in Joe's Bar STAYS in Joe's Bar.'

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

Working at a brewery.

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'We usually don't make toasts in board meetings.'

"Let me clarify that this is your employee performance evaluation, Thompson. It is not a roast in your honor."

Prosecco and Pudding

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

"Those in favour, honk!"

Drunk Golfer.

'Gold!! You bought Gold!! What about our agreed upon gift price limit?'

It's our editorial opinion that you DESERVE a very Merry Christmas.

"Don't worry dear. I won't spoil her anymore than you can afford."

Make-your-own-fun at the morgue.

Cats pull a Christmas cracker and find a mouse inside.