Meal Protector T-Shirts

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

Hungry child

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Horn of Leftovers

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"It looks like a lot, but I microwave it throughout the week."

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

'No dessert? You mean I ate all that food for nothing?'

'Say, did you guys catch that report on the most important meal of the day?' ... 'I swear Breakfast, if you don't shut up already...'

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

Tired of searing the roof of his mouth when he ate pizza, Gary swore by his new Pizza Shield.

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

'You may have my Double-Double when you can pry it from my cold, dead hand.'

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

"It says, 'To deter Porch Pirates, we've thrown your package on your roof'."

'Do you mind popping back in, to rescue the Sunday joint?'

"Are you ready to pound down some breakfast?"

'My secret receipe.' 'Kept in a big safe.'

Finally, a good personal-pylon.

Produce. Manage the inventory better --- spoilage is bankrupting me! He's losing money because of all the dead beets.

Tensions are high in the produce section as no one dares to lick their fingers.

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

Urgent parcel delivery destroyed by falling icicle.

"Hey, Dad...I'd like to take Melissa to a movie..."

"Mom loved that you used her recipe for squash casserole. Thanks for not making it better than she does."