Meal Separator T-Shirts

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Horn of Leftovers

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

The Aisle

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'I've got a tight schedule.'

These scramble eggs are a tad crunchy. Did you leave the shells on again, Darling?

Food Blog

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

'No dessert? You mean I ate all that food for nothing?'

'Say, did you guys catch that report on the most important meal of the day?' ... 'I swear Breakfast, if you don't shut up already...'

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

"I thought I told you not to drink your milk."

"This batch of Witch's Brew is vegan. The eye of newt and toe of frog are plant-based."

'Do you mind popping back in, to rescue the Sunday joint?'