Meal Maker Pillows

These scramble eggs are a tad crunchy. Did you leave the shells on again, Darling?

Counting ribs

Domestic Goddess.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"I'm leaving you for someone who does care what we have for dinner."

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

Looks like I do dishes again.

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Cows on pogo-sticks creating milkshakes.

Our housekeeping

Catering for a large family.

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business