Meal Deal Hunter Gifts

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

Give Me the Number 3 Combo'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

Garlic Free Zone.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Online Shopping.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Unusual Offers

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"I got it in the sales."

Giant Sale!

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Business Fishing.

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"