Mba Maven Gifts

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Jack of all trades

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

Jerk Gene

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

Reconnaissance reports your email blast to Sales was a direct hit, with acceptable collateral damage in Finance and Accounting.

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"

At the Halloween party down there, one fat molecule is dressed as an angel and another as a devil. Makes sense, there are good gars and bad fats. The antibody is wearing a cape. Everybody's been calling him a superhero so he dressed like one. That virus wasn't invited but he sneaked in dressed as the long ranger. He's always showing up where he's not wanted. The ironic thing is the virus is wearing a mask.

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."