Mayan Prophecy Follower Gifts

'Does this mean you'll be expecting a Christmas present?'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"I'll have dessert first."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Don't worry, pal. I'm just here for one of them. You still have eight to go.'

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

Witch Bonfire

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

"Really, though, he flew too close to the ground."

'I'm a Pisces.'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

'According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 will be the end of the world!'

"How dare you!"

'I might also mention, that hiring me would be a fulfillment of prophecy.'

'Amazing what you can do on photo-shop - that doesn't look anything like him!'

"I'm guessing this is bean related."

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

2012 Doomsday

"...And here is the snack bar."

"Wait for it ..."

'I know that, reverend, but where does it say 'jury not'?'

"You will become very rich. However, you'll give all your money away."

'Ah, the wee people.'

"If you don't have any small children, you can substitute mushrooms."

'That's my slogan, you lousy thieveing creep!'

'Why settle for a mere rabbit's foot?!'

2020 Year of the Rat

'Well it's Friday the 21st and we're all still here. The world's not going to...'

Rick Perry Tebows For A Miracle

'Sorry, pal, but the last guy who rubbed my lamp took everything!'