Mature Prankster Pillows

"Can Eddie come out and throw his goddam back out?"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

Boy rolled into a snowball

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Resourceful toddler

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Tamagotchi paralysis.

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

'I did it all from memory.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Teddy Time Bears

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Clown Skis.

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Teddy Bear