Mattress Testing Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This mattress feels lumpy, but then again, that could be me.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

The domino effect.

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Kid in bed to mom: How come third graders don't get a personal day?

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"Why can't duvets be square?"

"I drink to forget."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

The Princess and the Pea

"And see how my assistant Mr Wilkins demonstrates the bounciness of the ZF-150 Divan."

'Sorry, I'm late. I overslept.'

"How many out of ten? Hello."

"Do you prefer your mattress firm or soft - not that it matters."

"You are getting sleepy, very sleepy ... "

Memory-Loss Foam.

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

'This is great, we'll take it.'

"I sleep on my side, but I pass out on my stomach."

'...In the future, please refrain from answering 'duh' on the easier questions.'