Firm Mattress Enthusiast T-Shirts

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

Mattress makers picketing in front of factory are sleepwalking.

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

'All he does is sleep all day but we're dog tired and lazy!'

'Wake up, Mr. Granger, the doctor will see you about your insomnia now.'

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

The domino effect.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

Kid in bed to mom: How come third graders don't get a personal day?

Sparkling Waterbed.

The Princess and the Pea

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"I drink to forget."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

"Why can't duvets be square?"

Man sleeping under the bed.

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes

"And see how my assistant Mr Wilkins demonstrates the bounciness of the ZF-150 Divan."

Memory-Loss Foam.

"You are getting sleepy, very sleepy ... "

"Do you prefer your mattress firm or soft - not that it matters."

"Zzz."

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

"I just want to be comfortable, no matter how temporary."