Math Educator Gifts

"Another math fight on my chat server. What am I doing wrong?"

'Math would be more fun if we weren't always studying pyramids.'

"Reboot, Robert."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"You're fired."

Lynching on social media

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Hate Platforms

Ethics exam cheater.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

At the Museum

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Fear/Knowledge

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Campaign for Plain English

'But I digress...'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

I will study my speling words...