Maternity Leave Celebrations Pillows

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

baby sweetcorn...

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Newborn Chaos

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"What's this about having time off to spawn?"

Laptops

'Good to see you back at work.'

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

'He has his father's feet.'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"This paternity leave plays havoc with your handicap."

Single parents.

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

Gender Reveal

'I wrapped it myself !'

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

'I wouldn't worry. At that age they put everything in their mouths.'

Baby Mums.

Twenty-first century baby walker