Maternal Exhaustion Gifts

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Supermom.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

"First break since 2008."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'I will never cease to be amazed at how deftly she balances the demands of career and family.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I'm a wife, a daughter, a working mother...and you're asking me if I can MULTI-TASK???'

'Good to see you back at work.'

Having It All

Working mother

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'No provision for day care, eh?'

You missed a spot!

Children.

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

Cat to boss: 'May I have some maternal leave this afternoon?'

Working mother

"I could really get ahead at my two jobs if it weren't for that five letter vice I crave...SLEEP."

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'