Materialistic Maven T-Shirts

"It's never been about money. It's about the cool stuff money can buy."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

Categories are the key to organizing.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Castle Efficiency

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

Psychic Research Unit.

"Maybe your purpose in life is to have a well-organized sock drawer."