Material World Devotee T-Shirts

"Mr. Simmons is in his happy place."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

'We have a lot in common. We're both insanely greedy!'

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

New Gods

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

"Good morning, Mrs. Kiley."

"He's a real animal when he gets behind a wheel"

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

"It's not you, it's me -- I'm a solipsist."

Divorce Court

"I don't mean to be a snob, but I know what real leather sounds like."

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

"For Gladys it's not the thought that counts, it's the size of the gift."

'I know money can't buy everything - that's what credit cards are for. . .'

U-can take it with you funerals.

Empty pockets (four of them).

'I don't ask for much, all I want is more.'

'You had me at affluent.'

"Minimalism is boring. I want stuff."

"What's this have to do with my feelings about the gold iphone?"

'When I die I want to come back as a beautiful swan. And you? Money'

"Is he wealthy? Well, instead of changing his oil, he changes his car."

Truth and beauty? Or money

'People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.'

Photo of John?

'We just need to make sure you didn't take it with you.'

"Enough about feelings. Let's talk about things."

"Can you imagine what he would look like without money?"

'The first outstanding characteristic I noticed about him was his fat wallet.'