Material World Rejecter T-Shirts

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Menu Dating

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'Money DOES make me happy.'

"Actually, I don't consider myself to be a have or a have-not. I'm more of a have-to-have."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

Publishing

Throwing Away Music

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

'I know money can't buy everything - that's what credit cards are for. . .'

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

'I needed a lot more house than my husband did.'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"Sorry, I'm not into heavy metal."

"Is he wealthy? Well, instead of changing his oil, he changes his car."

'When I die I want to come back as a beautiful swan. And you? Money'

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."

Truth and beauty? Or money

"Can you imagine what he would look like without money?"

"Mr. Simmons is in his happy place."

"You're lonely and rich and I'm friendly and poor. We're a perfect match, I reckon."

"Enough about feelings. Let's talk about things."

Computer Hating Service.

"I'm not sure I like this 'Unconventional Couples' reality show."

Sue will you marry me? -Bob. No. -Sue

'The first outstanding characteristic I noticed about him was his fat wallet.'