Matchstick Architects Gifts

Match Ladies

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Caliologist

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"I love what you've done with him."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

Horror writer.

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'Don't turn the page yet - I'm not finished!'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."