Matchmaking Mediator Gifts

Visiting Grandma

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Changing Minds

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

Today's love

"Everybody meets online these days."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

Acme Dating Service

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

Cupid

Interfaith dialogue

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker