Matchmaking Mediator Gifts

Visiting Grandma

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Changing Minds

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

Today's love

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Interfaith dialogue

Cupid

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

Acme Dating Service

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker