Matchmaking Acquaintances Pillows

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Conference Pears

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

The Sky Is The Limit

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."