Match Victor Pillows

Tennis winner.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Beer Order

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

The keen cricket fan

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

GOOOOAAAAAL!

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

'What do we win if we get it right?'

'Of course he'll pick you up at the airport, mother. He's got a season ticket so he can go to football any time.'

No Vaccination

'Your honor, I believe the jury has reached a verdict!'

Footballers chasing a ball.

The Alter of Football

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

'It's hard for him to do much work around the house. He only has half-times available.'

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

Cricket

"Bad case of Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'A wide wide'

"Mr & Mrs. Jones thank you for your invitation to join you at the bingo, however they must decline your offer as they won a full house on Tuesday."