Match Victor Pillows

Tennis winner.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Beer Order

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

The keen cricket fan

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

GOOOOAAAAAL!

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Ah, the new pocket plaque's arrived.'

In this hot new video game, players battle to the death to reach the last copy of this hot new video game.

'What do we win if we get it right?'

Colts Win!!!

'Of course he'll pick you up at the airport, mother. He's got a season ticket so he can go to football any time.'

No Vaccination

'Your honor, I believe the jury has reached a verdict!'

Footballers chasing a ball.

The Alter of Football

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

'His sister beat him playing a video game.'

'It's hard for him to do much work around the house. He only has half-times available.'

Well, I see you've met your match!

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'

"You got that many points on a galactic battle? Really? I was beaten by a girl?"

Cricket

"Bad case of Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'Well, that's Match of the Day over, now you can tell me the score.'

'A wide wide'