
'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'
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'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'
Department of efficiency and cost analysis.
"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."
IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'
"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."
Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'
"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"
"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"
Debate Club Note
"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"
"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."
'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'
'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'
"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."
"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."
'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'
"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."
'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'
I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?
"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."
Running out of time
'What's procrastination?'
IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'
No, you shut your Pi hole!
"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."
"Mister Watson, come here -- I need to know why we're not on a first-name basis."
CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'
"After much debate, we have reached a verdict."
"Bigger isn't always better. Unless we're talking deductions."
The Institute of Time Mismanagement Asks: 'Are You Procrastinating to Your Full Potential?'
"Before we begin, would you like a prozac?"
"I hope the fine I payed for tax evasion is allowable!"
Accountant - Out For A Deductable Lunch
Sherlock solutions
'He took a pass and disappeared?'
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