Deduction Inventor T-Shirts

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

Helio-Bot

'Just a little off the top.'

"Now you've done it!"

"So, if you'll just bring me the 3-D printer, I can take it from there."

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

Spider harpist.

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'I've got this idea for a book - you bind some pages with writing on them, put them between hard covers...'

Young Aeronaut on Leave Helping his Father to Mow the Lawn

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

"How's it going with the automatic bagpipe?"

Sugar Cube Machine

My tax preparation software accused me of padding my expenses.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Nerg and Ooma Invent the Wheel.

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'One loophole per taxpayer only'