Deduction Decoder T-Shirts

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Complexity Made Simple.

DIY horror.

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

Information vs. confusion

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

Mixed marriage: food fight

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'