Instruction Decoder T-Shirts

DIY horror.

"Life is a struggle for the Pictographically Challenged."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Complexity Made Simple.

'Physical or Social Science?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

Mixed marriage: food fight

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

"This is my voice mail."

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."