Master Of Returns T-Shirts

Complaints: "Don't make me angry - you wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"I admire your patience, Fred, but c'mon!"

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"We're cutting costs by recycling his hot air."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'It's simple. First we look at the upside. Then we look at the downside. Then we look at the upside-down side.'

December 24th and the December 26th.

"Get a grip, Fulson. An unbalanced portfolio can be remedied."

"Did you give me the finger?"

"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month!"

"Oh that, that's our dealing room."

'How's the school board meeting going?'

"My emotions ran wild."

"We want to build bridges!"

Successful business man

'Enough small talk. It's time for big talk.'

'It's our job to keep things at a manageable pace through strategic application of bureaucratic inertia.'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

'I think he's getting ready to hammer that plug.'

"When you're through playing Earth Mother, you've got a call on Line 2."

"Well this has been a waste of time. I haven't had a single bite all day."

"I hope the fine I payed for tax evasion is allowable!"

'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

Jane? It's Lars! I told you never to call me here. At work? On the planet Earth.

Departments of hand-wringing, pearl- clutching, forehead-slapping, eyeball-rolling, head-scratching, hair-splitting.

"Sorry I'm late. I'm sure you've made productive use of your time."

"Polite company does not discuss religion, politics, education, gender, climate, diet, credit scores..."