Masters Of Accuracy Gifts

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"It's running five minutes fast."

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Efficiency Expert 'Back in 7 mins 35 secs'

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

"We're all metric now..."

"This new guy's really good!"

"Get a grip, Fulson. An unbalanced portfolio can be remedied."

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

Running out of time

The RAF salute the world of banking

Oh that's Mr. Fong . He double checks for accuracy

"They specialize in balls, and balls going into holes."

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

'It's not fair - he's better equipped for triangulation!'

'Looks like he's hitting his targets'

'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'

OCD Industries

The Pedants' Society: Back in 1 hour, 2 minutes + 46 seconds exactly.

"I prefer the metric system. 18 centimeters sounds better than 7 inches."

Constructive Parameters

'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'

Security Firm with Scarecrow - In Case Of Emergency Break Glass

Complaints: "Don't make me angry - you wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry!"

A bore of batchelors

'Oh, I thought it said 'Fishing'.'

Professional journalists aren't the only ones qualified to cover stories. I understand about ethics and protecting sources and checking facts. Why are you using quotation marks? Press. I know how to get accurate quotes. Do you know about libel?

"Can I have a receipt?"

Teaching Golf.