Masters Of Accuracy Pillows

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"It's running five minutes fast."

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

Efficiency Expert 'Back in 7 mins 35 secs'

"This new guy's really good!"

"We're all metric now..."

"Get a grip, Fulson. An unbalanced portfolio can be remedied."

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

Running out of time

The RAF salute the world of banking

Oh that's Mr. Fong . He double checks for accuracy

"They specialize in balls, and balls going into holes."

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

'It's not fair - he's better equipped for triangulation!'

'Looks like he's hitting his targets'

'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'

The Pedants' Society: Back in 1 hour, 2 minutes + 46 seconds exactly.

Constructive Parameters

OCD Industries

"I prefer the metric system. 18 centimeters sounds better than 7 inches."

'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'

'Oh, I thought it said 'Fishing'.'

Complaints: "Don't make me angry - you wouldn't LIKE me when I'm angry!"

A bore of batchelors

Security Firm with Scarecrow - In Case Of Emergency Break Glass

"Can I have a receipt?"

Teaching Golf.

At least he always pays his round!