Master Schmoozer T-Shirts

What a Guy! The Tops! - "He likes to make his clients feel important."

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Happy now?'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

'This is my natural habitat.'

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Untidy bedroom

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Eventual Motion Machine

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

"Cool game!"

Just Stop Oil Painting

'Embarrassing me won't get you out of 'fondue night' Harold!'

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

"How many times have I told you not to play mechanic under the car."

"She's a great networker. One drink and she's on schmooze control."

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"

'Clown-noser.'

"One day, many years from now, we'll look back at this and laugh."

"Aw, man, that's never coming out."

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

CLEAN YOUR ROOM! 'Out of sight, out of mind...'

'Why let sleeping dogs lie when all you have to do is wake them up to get the truth.'

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'