Master Of Deductions Pillows

"I hope the fine I payed for tax evasion is allowable!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Sign pointing to 'hindsight' and 'foresight'

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

Debate Club Note

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

"A workshop will be offered on the topic of decision-making....I could possibly take part....o the other hand...."

IRS: April is the cruelest month.

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'He was right at his desk a moment ago.'

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

My tax preparation software accused me of padding my expenses.

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'One loophole per taxpayer only'