Master Delegate Pillows

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"What's a debenture?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

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Attendees Anonymous

Bring It On!

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."